The World Is A Little Bit Safer Today

By seamus -

Kim Jong-il, North Korea’s self entitled Supreme Leader, who ruled over the country with an iron fist and raised concerns for his pursuit of nuclear weapon programs, is dead.

According to Korean news, he died of “advanced acute myocardial infarction brought on by " mental and physical strain” during a train ride on Saturday. He was previously said to have suffered two strokes, the latest allegedly in November, while other rumors claimed he had pancreatic cancer. This happened while he was on a propaganda tour across the country, attempting to prove his critics wrong about his alleged health problems.
No definite word yet as to who will succeed him, though his son Jong Un is rumored to be next in line, conflicting with reports of Chang Sung-taek already being the de-facto leader.


Oh, by the way, this man was bat-shit insane. His propaganda machine claimed the most ridiculous things about him: he didn’t poop or pee like real people, he invented the hamburger, he planned to solve North Korea’s hunger issues by breeding giant rabbits, he had his workers inspect every grain of rice he ate for consistency in shape and color, he repeatedly injected himself with blood from virgins to stay young, he was the world’s best golfer (38 under par on his first game ever ;) ), his birth was marked by a bright star and double rainbow…and much more. I could go on and on about his bat-shit insane regime but I’ve said enough.


The craziest country in the world spent 25% of its GDP on military expenses (compare to 4% US and Russia), and has the 4th largest standing army in the world at 1.1 million troops. Officially a democracy, the country is actually a dictatorship where citizens have the right to vote at 17 – but (you saw this one coming) there’s only one party to vote for. Public executions are held in stadiums in front of thousands of spectators, and you can be executed for distributing Bibles, making an international phone call or hoarding food. The media is 100% state run and constantly reports lies and propaganda.

The world is a much better place without him, and his oppressive regime. Will his death put an end to North Korea’s aggressive and isolationist policy? That remains to be seen, as no official successor has yet to emerge. But the world just got a little lighter and it looks like 2011 is a good year for getting rid of oppressive dictators and dangerous assholes and lunatics, and I hope this man’s web of delusions, lies and propaganda dies along with him.

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